


we all have our faith, mine lies with him.

by vintageroseriver99



Series: take my hand, let's go travelling. [4]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:45:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintageroseriver99/pseuds/vintageroseriver99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The variant of 'Gridlock' with Donna, further progression in to the Doctor/Donna romance, the final declaration scene! Reviews and Kudos appreciated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Donna POV

"So...where are we?" I asked as I felt the TARDIS land, excited to be in another new place.

"We're in the state of New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York!" The Doctor replied, struggling to say the correct amounts of news. "Let's go!"  
We ran outside in to an alley, and into the pouring rain, and I rushed to do up my jacket's zip."Nice weather!" I exclaimed.

"Just a bit of rain, nothing to fret about." He walked over to what looked like a hole-in-the-wall and soniced it, then an image of a woman came up on the screen. "We must be in the under city, that's the view I saw last time I was here."

"So you've brought me to the slums?" I asked, genuinely annoyed with his terrible flying skills. "I don't why the TARDIS even puts up with you!"

"This is much more interesting, up there's it all cocktails and glitter." He said, trying to make me think this was a cultural experience.  
Suddenly all the burger vans around us opened up their hatches and started offering us 'happy' and a number of other moods, looking ecstatic to see us. Then the Doctor had a short conversation with one of the women there, and another woman who seemed upset, I wasn't paying too much attention.  
Then this man and woman came up behind me and grabbed me, while holding a gun, but kept apologizing as they went. I squirmed, trying to get out of the man's grasp but I couldn't get loose.

"Oi!" I shouted at them both. "Let me go!" They dragged me out in to what seemed to be another back street, and loosened their grip just enough for me to turn around, I punched the man square in the face, giving him a nose bleed. "Now let me go!" He staggered backwards a little but regained composure quite quickly considering the power I'd put in to that.

"I'm sorry, I'm just gonna give you some sleep. Shh, don't fight it now." Then she reached up and stuck one of the 'moods' to my neck, that's all I remember so I must have blacked out or something.

Doctor POV

"Where's Donna? Where have they taken my friend?" I asked the people, who had stood there doing nothing as Donna was kidnapped.

"Oooh, they've taken her to the motorway mate, you ain't gonna be seeing her again." One of them stated, before pulling the hatch of his van closed again, as everyone else did too, leaving the street desolate and lonely again. I ran in the direction that Donna had been taken, hoping I'd be able to find the motorway entrance.  
Luckily I did, I came to a thick metal door and opened it, on the other side I was faced with what looked like thousands of vehicles, all stuck in a very big traffic jam it seemed. Then I started to taste the exhaust fumes, I had started choking when the door of the car nearest to the platform opened and a catkind man ushered me in.

"What on New Earth were you doing out there? You can't breathe that air, you'd catch your death!" He exclaimed, looking at me like I was a madman. "I'm Thomas Kincade Brannigan, this is my wife Valerie. And you are?"

"Oh sorry, yeah, I'm the Doctor, I'm looking for my friend she was kidnapped and brought on to the motorway, do you think I could find her somehow?" I asked, hoping he would say that it was easy but already knowing that it couldn't be that simple.

"You won't see her again now, if she's been carjacked then they're headed for the fast lane, and you know what they say about what goes on down there." He stated and I felt stupid to ask what did happen down there but I did anyway and he raised his eyebrow before answering. "All the rumours, people go down there but they never seem to come back up. Nobody knows what happens to them."  
I knew he wasn't joking and I knew I was going to have to figure something out, and find a way to get Donna back.


	2. Chapter Two

Donna POV

As soon as I woke I darted up, picking up the gun that was beside me. Carelessly placed. I thought but they didn't look scared when they saw me with it.

"It's not real you know." The woman said, looking at me.

"Yeah well you would say that!" I retorted, finger still on the trigger.

"Where do you get a real gun these days, I wouldn't even know how to fire!" She didn't appear to be a violent person, or someone who might kidnap me so I was wondering why she would.

"Fair enough. But, why did you take me in the first place? Where are we going?" I asked, relaxing just a little bit, looking around the small room.

"We're sorry, really we are but we needed access to the fast lane and we didn't have a third passenger. I promise, as soon as we get there we'll drop you off and you can go back and find your friend. I'm Cheen and this is Milo." She motioned towards the man beside her who seemed to be driving the 'vehicle' we were in.

"I'm Donna, I'm a bit of an offworlder so would you mind explaining exactly where we are?" They were starting to make a bit more sense but I still didn't understand why they would kidnap someone.

"We're on the motorway, headed out to Brooklyn, people say the air is so much clearer out there and we couldn't stay in Pharmacy Town because..." He looked toward Cheen, who I was assuming was his wife or girlfriend.

"Because of me, I'm pregnant, only found out last week. Scan said it's a boy." She said, looking back at Milo, smiling happily.

"Oh, and what? Should I say congratulations to my kidnappers?" I asked angrily, wondering how at a time like this they found opportunity for nostalgia.

"We're hardly kidnappers, not really." I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what she would call it.

"Oh, what are you then? And how long is this even going to take because if you don't mind, I actually have a life of my own!" Still frustrated by how calm they were in the situation.

"We'll be as fast as we can, it's only ten miles or so, shouldn't take more than...6 years." My eyes almost popped out of my head, they expect me to sit in a car with them for six years! I thought, no way!

"Ten miles in six years, how can it possibly take that long?!" They looked at me like I was an alien, it wasn't my fault that on old Earth we travelled at reasonable speeds!

Doctor POV

I was still in Brannigan's car and after speaking to a car-spotter I knew which car Donna was in, but had no way of getting to her, no way except down. I thought.  
There was a hatch in the floor, I knelt down and opened it with the sonic, looking down at the many layers of cars below us.

"What do you think you're doing?" Brannigan asked, watching me as I went.

"Finding my own way, I usually do. Here we go." I took off my coat and threw it towards Valerie. "Look after this. I love that coat, Janis Joplin gave me that coat." I looked back down, to the layer beneath, not that anything could be seen through the exhaust fumes.

"You can't jump!" Valerie exclaimed, you could tell she didn't know me very well, I could do anything I fancied.

"If it's an consolation Valerie, right now I'm having kittens." Cracking a joke that neither of them found funny in the slightest.

"This Donna, she must mean an awful lot to you." Brannigan stated, not taking his eyes off mine for a moment, hoping to see sincerity probably.

"More than anything." I said, there was no harm in saying that to them, it's not like Donna would ever meet them and find out, or that even I would see them again. "Not that she knows that. Anyway, bye then!" I said before jumping out and holding on to the ledge for just a second before dropping on to the roof of the car below.  
I opened the roof hatch of the next car and jumped in, finding myself yet another alien species. I introduced myself as motorway foot patrol surveyor, and he replied with a complaint about something, not that I was listening. I opened the next hatch and said goodbye before jumping down. I arrived in the car of two asian women who looked rather startled, 'borrowed' a scarf from them and continued downwards.  
Eventually after about 25 more cars, I arrived on what I believed to the bottom layer, the car of a seemingly human gentleman who appeared relatively normal. After looking out of the floor hatch and finding macra, we were joined by a catkind woman who stated she knew me, then I realized who she was.

"Novice Haim!" I said, giving her a quick hug before remembering what had happened last time we saw each other. "No, hold on, get off. Last time we met you were breeding humans for experimentation."

"I sought forgiveness Doctor, for so many years, under his guidance and if you come with me, I might finally be able to redeem myself." She said, trying to get me to agree to leave Donna. Not going to happen. I thought.

"I'm not going anywhere, you've got macra living underneath this city, MACRA! And if my friend is still alive - which I highly expect - she'll be stuck down there." Pointing down to the creatures below us through the still-open hatch.

"You have to come with me. The situation is so much worse than you can imagine. " I kept saying no but she grabbed my arm and held on to it. "Transport." And we both de-materialized.


	3. Chapter Three

Donna POV

We were down in the fast lane, being attacked by something on the outside, and there was nothing we could do, nothing I could think of.

"Wait, turn off all the engines. Nothing could see out there so they're detecting some other way, maybe it's the sound or the heat or whatever, just turn them off. It's our only chance, things can't get much worse can they!" I said and Milo did it, everything went quiet and there was no noise coming from outside.

"Just to tell you, without the engines on, we're going to run out of air pretty fast, there's only about eight minutes worth." Milo said, reaching out his hand to Cheen.

"Well that's eight minutes more than we had with the engines turned on." I stated matter-of-factly. "And that's eight minutes more time for the Doctor to figure something out, I suppose." I was clutching at straws, there was no way the Doctor could save us now, but he was the last shred of hope I had left.

"Donna, nobody's coming." Cheen said, looking at Milo with teary eyes. "He looked nice."

"Yeah, he's a bit more than that." I said, looking up to see her watching me intensely.

"Oh are you two...?" She said gesturing between her and Milo, I shook my head.

"No he doesn't know, never will now I suppose." There was no point in optimism now, there was nothing to be optimistic about.

"I never even thought to ask, where's home?" Cheen looked at me, and this was the first time we'd made proper eye contact in minutes.

"A long way away, but I feel like the Doctor's become home, we've not been together that long but I feel like if it was the end of the world, I'd rather be with him than with my family. He's become my life now." If I was being honest with myself, he'd become more than that, I'd rather never see my old life again that give up my new one.

"He must mean a lot to you then, if you trust him that much." All I did was nod in return, and Milo said that we were going to have to turn the engines back on unless we wanted to suffocate.

"It's alright, you have your religion and your god, that's what keeps you going. I have the Doctor, I trust him to the end of the universe, he's going to get us out of this...trust me." They both nodded, looked at each other and we wished each other luck before Milo flipped the power switch back on.  
The car was flipping this way and that, we were being thrown upside down and I was praying for the Doctor to figure something out. Milo was still trying everything he could to keep driving, not that it was helping, when a hologram came up on the screen of the Doctor.

"Car four-six-five-diamond-six, drive up! Donna, drive up! You've got access above now go!" He said, and I was too excited to see him to pay attention properly to whatever he said next.

"Do as he says, drive up. Go up, trust me!" I shouted excitedly, Milo did as I said and drove up when we were hit by a blinding light. "He did it! I told you he could do it!"

"Oh my god, that's sunlight, real sunlight!" Cheen exclaimed before leaning over to kiss Milo, I was too delighted to notice.  
We continued driving up until we were out of the motorway, in to the over city.


	4. Chapter Four

Doctor POV

I heard her come in and call my name, I stayed where I was, beside one of my oldest friends.

"In here." I said simply, and she ran in to see what was going on, the sight must have been overwhelming, she rose her hand to her mouth and ran over to me, kneeling down next to me.

"Who is he?" She asked, it's what I love about Donna most, she always says 'who' instead of 'what', she doesn't care what species someone is, she cares who they are as an individual.

"This is the Face Of Boe, and that's novice Haim." I said, pointed towards the nurse who was still watching over her patient, caring for him. "He's the one that saved you, not me."

"My lord gave his life to save the city and now he's dying." Haim stated, sounding hopeless.

"No, plenty of life left in him Old Boe, legend says he's lived for billions of years, he isn't going to give up today." It wasn't necessarily true, but there was no point in sounding defeatist.

"It's good to breathe the air again. Everything has it's time, old friend, you know that better than most." He said, his breathing was uneasy but his voice sounded as old and wise as ever.

"The legend says more, it says you will speak your final secret to a traveller." Haim said, her eyes flashing between me and The Face Of Boe.

"There's no need for secrets, not now anyway." I said, looking back to Donna, who was still watching the face, in awe of his beauty I expect.

"I have seen so much, perhaps too much. I am the last of my kind, as you are the last of yours Doctor. Know this Time Lord, you are not alone." I furrowed my brow, not understanding what he could have meant, then his eyes closed for the last time and he was gone.  
Haim began to cry, burying her head between her paws and I felt Donna's arm around my waist, pulling me to her gently and I went willingly. She pulled me in to a tight warm hug that was both a hello and a goodbye, it meant everything, I poured my emotions in to it and she held me to her.  
Even when we broke apart she kept her arm firmly placed around my waist, like she was never going to let me out of her sight again. We walked out of the senate after saying goodbye to Haim, retrieved my coat from Brannigan and Valerie, then headed back towards where the TARDIS had landed. Donna was yet to let go of my waist, not that I minded, it was reassuring to have her there.  
My arm soon found it's way around her waist, sitting there comfortably as we walked, the expected 'hands' didn't come, nor did the tensing of her muscles. When we got back in to the TARDIS, I waited for her to let go but instead she pulled me in to another tight hug, lasting even longer than usual.

Donna POV

I didn't want to bring the conversation up so soon but I was too curious to let it drop.

"Doctor, what did the Face of Boe mean? You are not alone, you said that you were the last of the timelords though." I asked, speaking in to his shoulder, waiting for him to pull out of it, but he didn't.

"I don't know Donna, if there was another Timelord out there, I'd know about it so he can't have meant that, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see. Anyway, how are you doing? You must have had a rougher ordeal than me." He said trying to divert the attention from himself, and just this once, I'd let him get away with it.

"Oh, I'm fine really. My kidnappers actually turned out to be really nice people, the only bad bit was being attacked by giant things! And I knew I was alright, because I had you coming to find me, you've never let me down before so I knew that you'd find me in the end." I wondered if I should have said that, he didn't know how I felt about him, maybe he didn't know how much I trusted him." Thank you for saving me...again!" I said with a smile, finally pulling out of the hug gently, I still kept a hold of his arms as well spoke, I felt like if I let him go he'd disappear or something.

"I promise Donna, I'll always do everything in my power to keep you safe and in future, I don't think I'm ever going to let you out of my sight." He said, looking at me with honest eyes and I was close to tearing up, instead I just laughed a little, but knowing that I wouldn't be letting him get more than a few feet away from me any time soon.

"I'm sorry about your friend, he seemed like a lovely man from what I got to see of him." I said, wishing I had known this man better.

"Oh don't worry Donna, we'll probably see him again, he's a time traveller too or so the stories say. Anyway where do you want to go tomorrow? Somewhere relaxing, maybe somewhere on Earth?" He suggested, obviously not wanting something too tiring after such a stressful day.

"Yeah, how about mid-20th century Earth?" I looked at him hopefully, wanting to see a spark of excitement in his eye and luckily I did.

"Great idea Donna! I know exactly where I want to take you, off you go and get some rest then, I don't think I'll bother with sleep tonight." He said, moving away from me and towards the console.

"Oh yes you are mister, even if I have to drag you and tie you to the bed posts, today was tiring for both of us, you're just as tired as I am, don't try denying it." I'd only been half joking, he needed sleep, even if he wouldn't accept it.

"Fine!" He stuck his tongue out at me before sauntering off in the direction of the bedrooms and I smiled. Keep an eye on him for me, tell me if something's wrong. I said to the TARDIS in my mind, after receiving a positive hum, I wandered off to get ready for bed.


	5. Chapter Five

Doctor POV

I was sat in my pyjamas after a quick shower and an hour's worth of reading, about to start filling in my diary for today. It had been a tiring day but I still didn't feel like sleeping, although Donna always seemed to be right about what was best for me so I would follow her advice.

Dear Diary,  
Today I took Donna to New New York and we ended up in the under city, with thousands of people stuck in a never ending traffic jam. Donna was car-jacked by two people and she almost died, luckily everyone - including Donna - was saved by the Face of Boe. He died, after giving all his energy to the computer to save everyone, although I doubt that's the last we'll see of him. You never do see the back of a time-traveller, they always turn up again somewhere. While I was looking for Donna, I admitted to two complete strangers than she meant everything to me, and she does but I never thought I'd say it out loud.  
Everyone in the over city had died from a virus, less than a few million were saved and the survivors were stuck down there, on the motorway for the rest of their lives but the Face Of Boe provided the power to open up the entrance to the city, so that it could be re-built. I lost yet another old friend today, and I almost lost Donna - my best friend. I'm going to take her to New York tomorrow, normal Earth New York, just as a bit of a relaxation trip, we both need a bit of time to recover from that ordeal - especially her.  
Goodnight.

I had begun to cry silently as I wrote, it made me realize that I outlived everyone, even my oldest friends were dying before me. It wasn't just the curse of the timelords, it had become the curse of the last timelord, because there was no-one for me to live through eternity with, I'm alone forever.

Donna POV  
I knew that he'd be doing everything he could to avoid sleep so I was going to go and check on him after I'd filled in my diary, there was no point in leaving it until I got back, it might be hours before I did get back. I needed to support my friend and I wasn't going to hurry off to make a diary entry in the middle of a conversation, so it was best to get it done with.

Dear Diary,  
Today I was kidnapped, by two very lovely people it turned out. The Doctor brought me to New New York, on New Earth, and these two people just grabbed me and put me to sleep then took me in the back of their car. They only took me so they could get in to the fast lane on the motorway, which turned out to be a death trap. They were called Cheen and Milo, they were a couple who were headed to Brooklyn, and I can understand why they wanted to take the fast route - it would of taken them years otherwise. We all almost died, but the Doctor managed to save us just in time, the same way he always does.  
When I got back to the city, I found the Doctor there with a cat-nurse, called Haim, and his friend the Face Of Boe, who was just that - a very large face. He died after saving the city, and I could tell that the Doctor was more upset than he let on about it, I know he needs someone there for him right now and that's why I'm here. The thing is though that I wasn't really scared today, I mean obviously I was a bit worried about the fact we were about to be attacked by some sort of giant alien swarm but I knew the Doctor would come and save me, he always does, I put my faith in him.  
Goodnight.

I was just putting it back in the drawer and getting up to go to him when I heard the TARDIS in my mind: He needs you now. I hurried down the hallway and knocked quickly before walking in, he was sat on the bed, weeping silently and he looked up alarmed when he heard me come in. I walked towards him slowly but every step I took, he just recoiled further against the headboard until he was flat up against it.

"Come here sweetheart." I said quietly, reaching my hands out to him and he took them willingly but instead of standing up, he pulled me down on to the bed to sit beside him. I smiled weakly at him, hoping he'd return it but he didn't. "How are you feeling?" I asked, not in the way that you asked someone daily, but like I wanted a proper answer and it was a proper answer that I got.


	6. Chapter Six

Donna POV

"It hurts, Donna. Everybody I care about either dies or leaves me, I outlive everybody else and it's not fair, I'd rather die than lose everyone, I've lived more than enough lives yet everyone else lives only one. The worst part is that the people I become closest with, the people who travel with me, none of them die of old age, not one. They all die before their time because of me, because of the danger I put them in. And it's going to be you next and I don't want to lose you Donna, you mean too much to me!" He said angrily, he reminded me of how teachers at school never really had to shout to sound angry, they never needed to raise their voice - neither did he.

"Hey, there's no need to worry about me Doctor, I'm in it for the long haul. You'll be sick of me by the time I pop my clogs. It just proves how strong you are, that you've lived through so much pain and loss, yet you don't let it destroy you. You carry on living while you watch everybody you love leave you in one way or another, Doctor you'll always hold a part of everyone you care about in your heart, you'll never forget them. You've got me now, and I'm not Rose, I don't want to be, I'm not going to try and replace her but she's still there in your heart isn't she? I'm just here to be your friend while she can't." I felt a bit guilty for mentioning Rose, it felt like I was stabbing him straight through the hearts but it was something that needed to be said.

"Thank you Donna, and don't think that you're replacing Rose, because she was one person and you're another. She's my past and you're my future, she'll always be in my hearts but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop living. You mean just as much as me as her." My eyes widened in shock, I did my best to conceal it but he must have still noticed, he pulled me in to him and my head rested on his chest, this wasn't supposed to be about me so how come it had. Told you. The TARDIS was feeling smug, I could tell even in my mind and I giggled just a little at her statement. "What?" He asked a little nervously, obviously concerned I was laughing at him.

"Not you, the TARDIS. She just said something." He frowned, looking up, obviously speaking to the TARDIS.

"Why did you let her hear that? That was meant for me, not her." He said out loud, obviously so I could hear what was going on. It was meant for both of you. We both heard at the same time and looked at each others with shocked expressions. "You mean?" Obviously understanding what the TARDIS had said and realizing we had been set up.  
I shifted away from him ever so slightly in embarrassment, I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and knew that I was blushing. He looked at me in surprise and I gulped as I watched how he reacted, I moved away inch-by-inch until I was almost at the other end of the bed. Then I let my eyes drop to the ground and made sure not to make eye contact with him again for the next few minutes.

"Donna, come back here please." He said in a steady, calm tone. I inched ever so slightly back up the bed, hoping that was enough but instead he shifted so he was sat right beside me and raised his hand to my shoulder, rubbing it reassuringly. "I don't know why she would tell you that, but I don't want this to make things awkward between us. I was never going to tell you, I've never really accepted it actually but...the old girl had other ideas. Please don't leave me, I understand that you only want to be friends, and I respect that but please don't go home." And he said I missed the bigger picture. I thought, wondering how long it would take him to figure it out or whether I was going to have to tell him directly. I raised an eyebrow waiting for him to put two and two together, but he still wasn't getting it.

"Doctor," I recoiled slightly, so that there was some space between us again. "The only reason the TARDIS told me that is because...I thought that was how you felt." His jaw hit the ground like a tonne of bricks when he realized what I was trying to say, I got up as fast as I could and made for the door, hoping to escape this very awkward situation.

"Donna, wait. Please don't go, I'm sorry about the way I reacted, it's just I never expected that. I thought I was headed for a slap, not that." I smiled at him half-heartedly, he got up from the bed and stood in front of me.

Doctor POV

I lifted her chin with my finger to look at her eyes, she immediately looked down, avoiding making eye contact with me and I felt guilty.

"Donna, please look at me." I said, hoping she would. "I hate to see you upset." As if on cue, a lone tear rolled down one cheek, and wiped it away with my thumb. "Excuse me for being stupid but...why are you crying?" Now wasn't the time for insensitivity but I couldn't help it, I didn't know what had made her upset and I couldn't help without understanding. Her eyes flicked up to mine just as she began speaking.

"Because of you, standing there trying to apologize for being shocked when you find out that someone loves you. I never told you because I knew you didn't feel that way, but the TARDIS had to go and interfere, I was happy to be your best friend but now she's screwed everything up and you're going to take me home because she can't keep her blasted mouth shut." She shouted, looking upwards to the ceiling, angrier at her than she was at me.  
I shushed her and pulled her in to my arms, despite her struggling to get out of my grasp she settled down eventually and started to cry. "I'm not going to take you home Donna, do you even remember what the TARDIS was telling you?" I kissed the top of her head softly before resting my chin there, holding her while her breathing calmed.

"I used to think your ship liked me, now I know she just likes hurting me. Stupid thing, it's not even a 'she', it's an 'it'!" She said before pulling away from me slightly, enough that I could see her, puffy-eyed with tear-stained cheeks.

"Just answer me this, what did she say to you? Before I mean." I asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it out loud.

"She said, he loves you too even if he's not ready to admit it." She spat out spitefully, like they were cruel words.

"Yeah, and she wasn't lying. The TARDIS can't lie, even when she's supposed to, if you ask her a question she can't refuse to answer it." She frowned, not really understanding what I meant, it wasn't strictly true, the TARDIS could lie but she hadn't been when she said that. Her hands shot up to cover her mouth, but it wasn't shock in her eyes, it was happiness. "See? She didn't do that to hurt you, if anything she was trying to embarrass me."  
Before speaking to me, she turned around and stroked the wall affectionately.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart, I shouldn't have said that, you can embarrass him all you like though. Forgiven?" A warming hum vibrated through the walls, and Donna smiled before coming back to stand next to me.  
I ran my finger across her cheek and smiled at her, looking in to her eyes. I'll wake up soon, I thought. best make the most of it though. I leaned in ever so slightly so that she could choose whether to notice it or not and she did, she leant in to me ever so slightly, eventually our lips met gently. I watched her, drinking in her beauty and the kiss became more demanding, she pried my lips open with her tongue and we tumbled back on to the bed.  
The only innocent thought from the rest of that night was: I better not wake up yet.


End file.
